Is it Standard Practice?!

Sometimes being a parent, you can’t help but wonder “is this how it is for everyone?”.

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Is it standard practice for your baby to:

  1. Grab his/her shit filled nappy by the sticky bit and attempt to launch it across the room during changing.
  2. ‘Trebuchet’ their dinner from their spoon all over them/you/your whole house.
  3. Sneeze right in your face are you are taking a breath in.
  4. Scratch the living daylights out of your chest and face for no apparent reason at any given time.
  5. Pull your chest hair out for a laugh.
  6. Wake up whilst you are trying to do your daily tasks (or blog!).
  7. Wake up during that television program you’ve been waiting to watch for 6+ months.
  8. Teething to occur at the most inappropriate times imaginable.
  9. Wriggle away from you ‘SAS style’ while trying to change their clothes/nappy.
  10. Attempt to rip the CD Rom door from the front of the computer
  11. Make a dash to the nearest house plant to try and eat a fist full of soil whilst your back to turned for a fraction of a second.
  12. Try to dismantle the nearest delicate objects they can get their hands on.
  13. Be too tired to sleep at bed time.
  14. Do the exact opposite to what you want them to.
  15. Want more milk when you have just reduced their bottle volume.
  16. Want less milk when you have just increased their bottle volume.
  17. To fight the need for an afternoon sleep and end up having a melt down due to tiredness.
  18. To play with the brand new rain cover on the buggy so much that it rips days after purchase.
  19. Marinade the floor with urine during ‘nappy off time’ even though they have just done one and therefore its ‘safe’.
  20. To smile and giggle at the moment they see you once they have just woken up, resetting all the frustrations. Bless ’em!
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Is it Standard Practice?!

3 thoughts on “Is it Standard Practice?!

    1. Now she’s a little older, she’s learned how to shout “Nooooooooo!” at me during all of the above. Makes for compelling viewing in public places.

      Like

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